This movie moved me...

Meggie and I watched Revolutionary Road last night. I don't watch too many movies, but when I do, I prefer to stick with action movies with actors that I like: Russell Crowe, Will Smith, etc. I watch movies to veg out and to not think for a couple of hours. Therefore, my movie tastes are not sophisticated and this post is not going to be a movie review. Every once in awhile something will spark my interest and light a fire under me. Hence the first blog post in over a year.

I was stressed out last night. I didn't sleep well. Today at work, I was stressed. I was so fidgety in my seat, I had to go play tennis at lunch. I don't even play tennis. I wasn't even thinking about the movie. My thoughts were related, but it wasn't the movie that I was thinking about. This movie really moved me... Not just to think more about Leonardo and Kate or the 1950s, but to reflect on my current life's vector. Where am I headed?

If you haven't seen the movie yet, watch it. But don't watch it to enjoy it. If you do, you'll hate it. Instead watch it to be shaken by it; let it catalyze your life and make you angry and then pray that the feelings you have don't wear off in the next couple of months.

Here’s a quick plot rundown. The movie opens with a gut-wrenching verbal fight in which Frank and April Wheeler have a no holds barred husband/wife argument of the worst kind: him questioning her ambitions, her questioning his manliness, and you realizing that this is not going to be a fun movie, but one that needs to be endured, much like the tough times in life. We soon learn that this couple is special. They're dreamers and they are better than the people they're at work with and the other suburban families that live on Revolutionary Road. They're better because they don't belong in Suburbia with jobs that they hate and friends that are all living out the same freakishly boring, impersonal, weekly haircut lives. This is the ratrace that they found themselves in.

There wasn't much violence or sex in this movie. The cussing was not out of hand, but the R rating was appropriate. No one who has not graduated college and had to think about what they are going to do for the next 35 years would understand this movie. Furthermore, this movie has insight into some of the realities of marriage that we conveniently choose to deny: generally, that marriage is sometimes really hard and the very nature of growing together is often a push and pull.

I friended Meggie because we had similar interests. Meggie dated me because I loved God. We got married because we thought we could serve Christ better together. Before we got married, Meggie’s biggest hesitation was whether we were going to travel or spend significant time in the mission field abroad. Meggie’s not unlike April. Meggie’s a dreamer. I’m a realist who too often is quick to squash dreams. My promise to Meggie at Engagement was to support her dreams and bring them to realization.

Currently, I’m proud of where we have come. We moved to Seattle to begin our adventure. More recently, we moved in with 2 other couples because it made sense. Were we not meant to live in community? Were we meant to build fences and thicker and thicker walls to further isolate ourselves from our neighbors? Privacy is to hide our insecurities.

If you love us, you’ll punch me in the face (not Meggie, because that’s not loving) if we haven’t travelled and served abroad. You’ll punch me in the face if we are still putzing around making up excuses as to why we can’t leave to do something amazing. I like my job, but I don’t work to work more. If my life purpose was to work, then my job had better be full time ministry. No, I work to serve and my job is a means to an end. And don’t let me forget that.

If something hasn’t pissed you off lately and if you haven’t felt your gut turn in passion over something, then watch this movie or read a Bonheoffer book or something. Don’t let yourself grow stagnant.

3948 1st AVE NE Seattle, WA

Finally...here are some pictures of our home in Seattle.














WARNING: Derek Zoolander and all of the rest of you aspiring male models be prepared to eat your heart out at the sight of the following masterpieces

















We love our little place. It is the downstairs "basement" of a cute little craftsman house in Wallingford, a neighborhood on North Lake Union that looks out on Downtown Seattle. We've heard it's one of the best places to watch 4th of July fireworks.









My two favorite aspects of our place are 1) the oversize claw bath tub (although we have quickly realized that it is bigger than our water heater so we've heated pots of water on the stove to compensate) and 2) the garden we've started.
Take note that this picture is nearly a month old and the lettuce in this picture has grown 5x larger. We have already been able to taste the "veggies" of our labor.





The last picture is of Chris and I at a Seattle Sonics game. Sadly, the Sonics are a terrible team and not doing a good job of making us fans plus they will be moving next season anyways. So we are staying faithful to the Sacramento Kings...and getting excited for the MLS team that is supposed to come to Seattle next year.

On Bikes and Birds...

I’ll start with the confession: I stuck up my middle finger at someone yesterday. It was 100% intentional and with a dose of rage. Afterward, the regret set in and then I felt bad. To the assumingly nice woman I flipped off: I apologize for my malevolent response to your horn.

In Seattle there are a multitude of bike commuters. We live on the Burke-Gilman trail where thousands of commuters ride and recreational runners and joggers stay in shape, rain or shine. In the green spirit of becoming a Seattleite, I have made the commitment to ride my bike to class as often as possible. Through the first 4 weeks, I have ridden each time and I really enjoy the 3 mile ride to class. Surprisingly, despite how rainy it has felt, I have only gotten wet on one occasion. I am beginning to take pride in calling myself a bike commuter.

Yesterday, as I was riding to class, a middle-aged woman in a gold Camry laid into her horn at me. As I turned, my left hand came out and I flipped her off as she sped by me. I caught up to her at the next intersection and pulled in front of her avoiding eye contact. I beat her to my destination by over a minute because she had to stop at so many red lights. When I pulled into the parking lot I watched her drive by, still pissed but with a weird hope that she was coming to my Biblical Exegesis class with me.

I vaguely remember a story about a Seminary hiring a missions coordinator and posting someone in the guise of a homeless person outside the office in the path of those invited to interview. Not one of the potential missions coordinators on their way to the interview offered help to the disguised homeless person. In the midst of our personal interests, we tend to glaze over the big picture.

As an urban cyclist I am caught up with my personal interest, for good reason. I ride more aware and more on edge than any drivers I know. I don’t have metal around me to protect me and drivers can be very unpredictable. On the other hand, I ride aggressively and intentionally in order that drivers around me are aware of me and understand where I am going and are not invading my personal space. This preoccupation with my self-interest is a detriment to my ability to offer grace.

I pondered the reasons why this woman blew her horn at me. My best guess is that she felt inclined to scold me for leaving a couple seconds early before our green light. My opinion is that was just an excuse for her to vent her misunderstanding of how and why bike commuters ride. I’m sure she is a nice woman. Maybe I’ll run into her at church or something. We can talk about misunderstandings between drivers and bike commuters and exegeting the Hebrew word shalom, which is a much better greeting than horns and birds.

Life in Seattle

It's true...it rains a lot in Seattle. In fact, it snows too. It's been quite cold since we have been up here. We have had two snows in the last 4 weeks, which I've been told is uncommon, but it's the Northwest so I guess I shouldn't be that surprised.

Things we especially like about Seattle are the people and the fact that they get outside and run, bike, garden, etc. even when the weather is crummy. They are pretty hearty folks. Sometimes in Sacramento I would run in the rain and get a lot of strange looks from passerbys....We feel pretty at home here.

My new job is going pretty well. The first week was spent in classroom orientation. This past week I worked on the unit (a Pediatric Surgical Unit at Children's Hospital that focuses on nuero, ortho, urologic, gastric, and ENT surgeries) with a preceptor. I will have 6 weeks working with a preceptor and then I will be on my own. It is quite different from the PICU where I came from. I like that the kids are awake and interactive. I also like that I am not constantly stressed by the critical physiologic status of the patients and the potential for them to go down hill quickly. Thinking about that last statement, I wonder if I have chickened out by choosing not to work in the ICU. I have all this great training and I was starting to feel fairly comfortable and capable in the ICU...but I am still just as capable...and comfort will come as I continue to establish myself in this new place of work.
It has been refreshing to start anew and get more training with experience under my belt. Also, I see my work in my current unit as much more practical to my end goal of working as a FNP or PNP. I plan to pursue grad school in the next year or two and, as I understand, Children's Hospital will help pay for it.

Chris is doing pretty well too. He is three weeks into his final quarter at Fuller Seminary (he is going to an extension up here) to finish his Masters in Theology with a focus in Biblical Studies. The classes he is taking are some of the most challenging thus far and are keeping him busy. He has spent most of his spare time job searching, writing cover letters, and revamping his resume. He has been applying for positions in HR in some of the tech companies close by (ie Microsoft, Google, and other smaller companies). This kind of work corresponds to his undergraduate studies in Cognitive Science. He has been spending a lot of time talking with people in the field to develop a better understanding of what HR Directors are looking for. Chris is a man of varied experiences and passions so I am hoping that there will be a company out there in need of a rock climber school teacher urban planner cognitive theologian. I have no doubt that there will...he is a wonderful man!